Adapting to Diabetes

Perhaps the title "adapting to diabetes" is a bit misleading - the goal is to make diabetes care fit into your teenager's lifestyle, not vice-versa. After all, diabetes is just one part of your teen's life. Still, it's likely that they're starting to take over self-care just when, due to hormonal changes and growth spurts, blood sugar can be hardest to control.

Even though diabetes can be managed, it is a disease with potentially harmful immediate and long-term complications. By the time your child is in his or her teens, it's important for them to understand that positive steps today will make a significant difference in their health as they get older. This can be tough for teenagers to relate to - they may feel like they're living within strict limits with no visible benefit (outside of feeling good).

To assure that your child adopts the best possible self-care practices, take advantage of opportunities to educate the whole family. Encourage your teen to get involved with other people with diabetes his or her own age - and find a parents' group for yourself.

Talking to Your Teen

This is an especially sensitive time for anyone - the teen years are like a roller-coaster ride. You can't begin to guess what they're thinking, and you can't expect them to know what's on your mind, so make sure you take every opportunity to talk openly about what's going on in their lives.

This is also the time to start talking to your son or daughter like an adult. You can't just tell them what to do anymore - you have to negotiate rules and involve them in decisions about their self-care.

A few tips for making communication work...

•  Choose words carefully -- don't call blood sugars or blood sugar results "good" or "bad," use the words high, low, and normal. Try to keep things from sounding judgmental whenever possible.

•  When blood sugar is high, problem solve. Punishment isn't appropriate, and may lead to their bending the truth next time. If high blood sugar is the result of overeating, praise your teen for being honest about it and create a plan for avoiding the problem in the future.

•  Don't make everything about diabetes. Remember to ask, "how was school today?" or "how was practice?" -- not just "how was your blood sugar today?"

•  Never let your child use diabetes as an excuse. Explain that this can be a double-edged sword -- if they try to use diabetes as a reason for acting out, it can just as easily be used as a reason to prevent them from doing things they want to do.

•  Share your concerns about long-term complications, but don't use them as scare tactics. This can backfire, if your son or daughter begins to believe that it's no use taking care of themselves anyway.

•  Let your teen talk privately with the doctor, diabetes educator, and dietitian. Not only will they be able to speak more candidly about issues on their minds, taking direction directly from the healthcare team can take some of the pressure off of you.

Most important, consistent limits and discipline are just as essential for your teen as anyone else's. Sometimes parents feel sorry for a son or daughter with diabetes, and try to make up for it by being lenient in other areas. Sure, this is tempting, but in the long run, it won't help - in fact it may actually make it harder for your teenager to get by in the real world.

A good rule of thumb? Your teen should never use diabetes as an excuse, and neither should you.